The Post Pigeon's                  

            E-mail Humor

 

From:      Peter Newman

To:          redactie@thepostpigeon.nl

Subject:   Osama Bin Laden
 

 

Dear Post Pigeon,

Killing Osama Bin Laden will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release.

Therefore, I suggest we do neither.

Let the SAS, Seals or whatever covertly capture him, fly him to an
undisclosed hospital and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation.

Then we return 'her' to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.

 Regards,

Peter Newman 

 

 

 

From:      Rob Janssen

To:          redactie@thepostpigeon.nl

Subject:   mouse balls
 

 

Hi Pigeon Editor,

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to
all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The
author of this memo was quite serious, but the engineers
rolled on the floor...

 

"Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement
Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it
perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because
of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of
mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained
personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by
examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be
larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal
procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the
mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off
method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off
method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive.
However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used
immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a
pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer
satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should suspect
local personnel of removing these necessary items." 

 

Greetings,

 

Rob Janssen

 

 

 

From:      Jeremy Hoofs

To:          redactie@thepostpigeon.nl

Subject:   Dogs
 

 

Hi smiling people,

It's not easy to be human. When I let my dog out I often think that it's better to be a dog. Why?

1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.

2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.

3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair.

4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.

5. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you're cute.

6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.

7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.

8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.

9. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.

10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.


 

Regards,

Jeremy Hoofs

 

P.S. Success with the Pigeon

 

FRONT PAGE   Humor Notes   Kees Kessel   Sprinter   Victor Vogelvlucht   Wet & Net   Ask Stupi  Pigeon Strip   Pigeon Jokes   Pigeon cartoons   Email Humor   Newspapers Online   Weer in Nederland   Woman's Nightmare   Gele Gids   Pigeon IQ test   Job Evaluations   When life sucks   Top 12 worst things when driving drunk   New WTC   One Day   T-shirts 

Contact us   Tell a Friend   View - Sign Guestbook   Other Issues Online