Humor Notes

Maandgrapgedachte:

"Waarom is er geen kattenvoedsel met muizensmaak...?"

Chinese Escort Service?

American Newspaper

North Carolina - A man purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars and insured them against fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, he filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires."

The insurance company refused to pay, because the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion.

The man sued... and won.

The judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire", it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.

The insurance company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires".

After the payment the man was arrested on 24 counts of arson.

He was convicted of intentionally burning rare cigars and sentenced to 24 conseccutive one year terms.

Chinese Wisdom

Man cannot have everything. Where would he put it?

If shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Things that come to those that wait may be things left by those who got there first.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Give man fish, he will eat for a day. Give man boat, he will sit in boat and drink beer all day.

A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his corn flakes every morning.

The son did this every morning, and lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren and a 15 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

Bin Laden's

Special Song

(Click on pic)

Taliban Bingo

B 52...

F 16...

F 17...

B 1...

The Fly

There once was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn one day, when she happened upon a large pile of fresh cow manure.

Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pains, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out.

She ate... and ate... and then .. she ate some more!!!
Finally, she decided she'd had plenty.

She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas...
She had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground.

She looked around, wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation, when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.
She'd found a solution!

She realized if she could just become airborne she'd be able to fly again.

So, she painstakingly climbed to the top of the handle.
Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.
She dropped like a rock...
Dead Fly...

The moral of this sad story:
Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shit...!