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Everyday more monkees in business all over the world. The Post Pigeon survey: "12 percent of companies have monkees in fulltime job" Increasing monkees in business.           2       3     5   7 12 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 (Source: Dumbass inc.) What can you do to get a monkey into your business? The first thing is: Look around in your company. Every time you think: "A monkey can do the job," react on it. The second thing is: When you know how many monkees you'll need, go to a well known monkey seller. Make a good bargain by bying by the dozen. The third thing is: Sack everyone who's doing the job a monkey can do. Do not forget management. The fourth thing is: Give the monkey a proper training, explain the dresscode, tell about the company's policy. The fifth thing is: Start by paying the monkey in bananas. After promotion from time to time mixed with other tropical fruit. Remember: a monkey doesn't know a thing about working hours or holidays. The sixth thing is: Your clients/customers won't notice the difference. And if you're doing business with other comapnies most likely it's with other monkees. So your's can communicate on the same level.  If you see your profits going down instead of going up, ask yourself who's the biggest monkey. Be honest to yourself...and retire.

Markets 122 day delay Dow 11722.00 120.58 Nasdaq 4064.27 17.55 S&P 500 1685.32 8.65 GV 9000 9999.23 20.14 NYSE 822.00 -8.15 Quote of the Day "It's better to have one good banker than thousand good clients." Info bar HEY... YOU CLICKED THE PANIC BUTTON ! Clicking the Panic Button opens a new window which covers your original window with a business-looking Web Page designed to fool the casual observer into thinking you're actually doing something important (work?). When the "danger" has passed (i.e., the boss is gone) or you're ready to resume reading The Post Pigeon, simply go back to the page you were smiling about.